hello everyone... so sorry to go missing..

so many things happening the past 2 weeks... there was my conference which turned out well (yippee, last event of the year!!!), the buying of toilet/kitchen stuff for my "upgraded" flat, the painting of my room liliac, the buying of new lights etc etc. There goes my bhonus..

Oh, and the unpacking. If packing was tough, unpacking was hell! aiyoh, where did all the junk come from? I have chucked away $5000 worth of things that i no longer need.

some of my friends/colleagues going through relationship issues now and they turned to me to confide. Thank you guys for trusting me and confiding in me. I love and care for you lots... and i wish that i shared "correct advice". Dunno, sometimes just wondered if i know what to say... but know that i care a lot...

My mummy is great!!!

the past week has been "dusty"... my block is undergoing upgrading and they started working on both my toilets yesterday. I had a shock when i reached home last night, every inch of the floor is covered with dust...and it's only DAY ONE!!! ARGHHH!!!! 10 more days to go.. of having to use the portable toilet they installed in the master bedroom.

As i said, my mum is great! She got us to glad-wrap all our cupboards, furniture, decorative items at home (the nagging finally got into me and i only did my room last sunday). She's the first to get up yesterday to cover the hse with black garbage bags and last to sleep cos she was still vacuuming the floor. Without her, i think my plc will be in a very very bad state. Thanks mum!

Aiyoh, i really dread the cleaning after the toilets are done.

oh gosh, it's nearly the end of nov... so many things to do - events to wrap up, people to chase before they disappear for xmas hols, setting the framework for 2004's event. Of course, not to forget that we all have our personal stuff to take care.

bcos we are so swamped with "urgent" matters, my colleagues and I had a "technical shut-down" last evening, just too overwhelmed that we can't proceed. Instead, we had a good chat at my cubicle about expectations. Actually, it was an excellent session which i hope inspired my colleagues to continue the journey (some are so discouraged that they are contemplating quitting :( )

Bosses' expectations of us and our expectations of bosses, expectations of ourselves etc etc... The bottomline is that all of us are scared that we don't meet up to people's expectations, that we are failures in the eyes of our bosses/colleagues.

Here's something i read in the papers today...

Thought for the week:

Failure is
- not avoidable
- not an event (but a process)
- subjective and not objective
- not the enemy but the teacher
- not irreversible
- not a stigma
- not final

~ John C Maxwell

Right!

"When I always choose the action that love sponsors, then I wil experience the full glory of who I am and who I can be?"

There is only one purpose for all of life, and that is for you and all that lives to experience fullest glory. Everything else you say, think, or do is attendant to that funtion. There is nothing else for your soul to do, and nothing else your soul wants to do.

The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore, not to find out Who You Are, seek to determine Who You Want to Be.

- Conversations with God, Book One

Cheem right??? Yes, it is profound and i struggled a little to follow the diagolue. But this is very much in line with what HL told me just 2 days ago... to think about who i want to be.

Life keeps sending you the messages until you get it.

And thanks to V who sms-ed me yesterday... to remind me that I am I, and I must not forget that my feelings are part and parcel of me... that it's okie to be down... the feeling will pass :)

Aiyoh... i have been so busy lately... time flies!

The few "highlights" during the past week: (1) my super old "back-up" notebook finally died on me. This is one of those 1st generation lappie that don't even have a USB port... antique. But it served me well the weeks when my desktop modem was down. Guess its "death" forced me to get the modem fixed. Now, i am writing from my desktop :) (2) been building up my relationships with mum and dad. It's nice to be spending some time with my folks, something that always take the back-burner in my busy social and work life. (3) getting more "clarity" about some issues in my life (not going to explain anymore on blog... sorrie!)

I better rest early tonight... at least 80% of my colleagues are down with flu or cough and i think i just caught the sniffy bug. And the 3 big ulcers in my mouth are killing me :(

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

a good principle to follow... i am always beating myself up over the things i done wrong, wondering what i would happen if i done it otherwise. It is for me to learn to to "finish each day and be done with it" :)

"everything happens for the better... u never know until u try" ~ from the movie Sliding Doors

i love that movie... still one of my favourites despite the heavy Brit accent. The idea of "what if" and how lives can be so different bcos of one split second. Yep, i confess that i still wonder about the "what if's" in my life and what would it be like for me if i have made another decision / took another route. But i cannot change the past, can i?

Just finished reading another great book from Mitch Albom... i like the way it started... "all endings are also beginnings". Maybe its not a bad thing to end the emotional burdens we carry, so that we can have new beginnings. Other thought-provoking ideas include we are all connected, our actions affect another person, even if we do not know the person. And how our sacrifices may seem worthless to one person but serve as inspiration for another. Oh, the last one is my fave... that in our daily mundane activities, we contribute to a greater cause :) yep, it is nice to know that all the hours we put in at our seemingly boring jobs do help people in ways that we do not fathom.

"your existence is for a purpose... just need to find out what that is"
~ master min ;p

The Corporate Culture Test

Min, you'll thrive in a corporate culture that allows you to be a Team Player

Everybody can have a good idea, but you're the type to actually follow-through on it. You value putting actions behind your words, and you're quick to see things work in ways that others cannot. As a result, you help provide structure and coherence to an organization. Because of your uncanny abilities, you know when to speak up and when to let others lead.

You're able to provide people support without them thinking you have an ulterior motive in doing so. Bottom-line: You can be trusted in more ways than one.



true true... i like working in a team... i like to believe we all work towards a common goal and there's absolutely no need to play politics or backstab one another to get forward. Am i being naive?

You are the beautiful, dramatic sunset. Your
energy dazzles those close to you. Your
intensity is contageous, but when your sun
finally sets, you know how to relax--not many
people can boast of such a feat! You know how
to have a reeeally good time. Try to not be
narcisstic, but learn to love yourself. Don't
be embarrased to be cheesy.

You're creative and sometimes loud (even though you
don't really think so). Remember to follow
your heart, but always listen to those you
trust for advice.


-~Which SUNSET are you? (v.2)~-
brought to you by Quizilla

i like this... i have also thought that sunsets are romantic... i am a romantic at heart, waiting for a prince charming to sweep me off my feet.

Tom O'Toole
Tom's Philosophies:

· If you wouldn't buy it, then don't sell it
· Attitudes are contagious
· Nothing changes if nothing changes
· If it's to be, it's up to me
· Don't let someone else steal your day

"If youre not getting what you want out of life, then check your bloody level of enthusiasm. Nothing comes without that spark of enthusiasm."

Stress level in the office is mounting... everyone is feeling the pressure from the big boss. I am badly affected as well and in all honesty, i dreaded coming in to office this morning. But saw the above points in a write-up about a motivational speaker and i really like the last point: Don't let someone else steal my day!

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Blue... my fave colour :)

we are who we are... and much that we can "dress up" the outside, the core of our being cannot be changed

I am a procrastinator :(
One area i drag my feet on is exercising! i put on 4kgs the past 6 mths, completely zero-out the efforts of going to the gym last year. And tho' i have been saying i will get my ass moving since i came back from K.L., i havent. Worse still, I'm been bingeing a lot.... comfort eating i guess.

According to the "Procrastinator's Handbook", one way to overcome procrastination is to give yourself a reward when you accomplish the much-dreaded task. What's my reward? The pink bag from Ocean Pacific (OP)! The target is 10 walks from office to home within the next month. Once i hit that number, i will allow myself to get that bag (a very frivolous purchase!)

Kinda looking forward to tennis lessons next monday. I'm sure it will get me started on healthy and active lifestyle again.

Hmmm, i m getting very impatient with people lately... no good :(
Was supposed to have dinner with diving kakis this evening at 6.30pm. Dive buddy and his gf came very late at 8pm, and they didnt inform us that they will be late. Dunno if i am being sensitive and bitchy tonight, his gf was very unfriendly to me tonight. (1) when i gave a toast, she didnt want to drink and just turned away, no explanation whatsoever. (2) she kept bringing up topics regarding her girlfriends and so it was a conversation only she and her bf can talk abt. (3) she poured beer for H and her bf gestured to her to top up for me too as my mug was just next to H's. She refused. She just put down the jug after filling H's mug.

I wanted to leave ard 9pm cos i wasnt enjoying the dinner and the company (actually, only one particular person). H said it wasnt nice to leave to leave so soon since they rushed down for dinner. But hey, they were late! And why should i endure an unenjoyable dinner? I got better things to do.

But you know what? I stayed till 11am with them... what a loser!

i believe in having minimal mess in my cubicle... when it gets too cluttered with papers and magazines that i have to go thru', i find that i can't work!!

Here are some great advice from "The Procrastinator's Handbook" by Rita Emmett

TWELVE TIPS FOR WORKING MORE EFFECTIVELY AT YOUR DESK
1. Write down your ideas. Do not trust your memory, no matter how good it may be!
2. Set down your priorities before the start of each day's work.
3. Use your high-productivity hours for your top-priority projects.
4. Tackle time-consuming projects in stages.
5. Do not overschedule. Leave some time each day free from appointments.
6. Concentrate on one item at a time
7. Take breaks. Walk around. Stretch. Eat lunch away from your desk.
8. Establish a place for everything. Categorise, file and store items nearby.
9. Keep paperwork moving.
10. Put limits on visits:
- stack stuff on any extra chairs so uninvited visitors have to stand
- when chatty people call, as soon as you anser the phone, tell them you have only a few minutes to talk. Politely ask them the point of their call right away.
11. Remove from your desk all papers yu are not working on. This prevents lost or mixed-up papers.
12. Handle each piece of paper only once.

And more clutter busting tips...

TIPS FOR PAPER CLUTTER
- Feed the wastebasket.
- Get rid of what you don't need.
- SKim material as soon as it arrives.
- Don't even skim junk mail: just toss it.
- Pass on to the appropriate person any papers someone else can handle.
- Find a place for everything worth keeping, and put the papers where they belong.
- Realise the world won't end if you get rid of something.
- Recycle paper.
- Ask yourself: Do you really want to be caretaker of this paper? Do you really want to devote precious space to clutter?

It's bad feng shui to be surrounded by "rubbish"
~ master min :P

i like this too... i am like the Goddess of Love...


Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

i managed to get up on the wakeboard and stayed up for more than 3 sec :)
today is my second try at wakeboarding... didnt manage to get up on my first try last week so very very happy that i "overcame" my own mental barrier and did it. Cool! I am a true-blue water baby... i enjoy swimming, got my powerboat licence, a scuba-diving advanced diver, tried windsurfing before. I guess next to add on to the list is sailing.

i love the sea... even just sitting on the small 8-seater boat and waiting for my turn was nice. Yep yep, i am surrounded by negative ions and they are much needed at this time. To concentrate on a new activity is therepautic and get my mind of the confusing feelings/thoughts.

maybe it is escaping... maybe it is just letting things be for a while...

i asked my guardian angels for a sign last night, to show me a miracle and i got it! :)
as i got into my frd's car last nite, i had this idea that if i can meet one more singaporean in KL, randomly on the streets, then "coincidences" can happen for me too. after dinner at some roadside store, just as i was crossing the congested bukit bintang walk, i saw alvin driving past and he saw me too! See, so randomly, i got my miracle!

More personality test results:

The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

Enough is enough - but the problems never seem to stop. They never stop. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit - you bounce back time and time again - you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that 'belief' system that in the end, everything will turn out OK - and you are right -it will!

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. You detest uniformity and mediocrity as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be that 'I may not always be right but I am never wrong'. You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other person's point of view may be right, you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong.

It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own making simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial 'you' is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities. You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems.

Very true... havent i heard certain parts before :)

i am loved by my friends... i am blessed with people who care for me, who are willing to coach and support me when i am down. it's okie to be down, but i must and will pull myself up. I know i have quite a fair share of "downs" ths year and some friends are bored with hearing the same old stories. I am sorry.

sob sob, my holiday is coming to an end... will be going back to Singapore tomorrow evening... and then back to reality on Monday. In an objective way, to truly enjoy and appreciate your break/holiday, you must feel that u "earned" it and deserve that reward. What you have in abundance is usually not cherished!

3 good things from this holiday:
1) Got to know my friends better
2) Figured my way around KL in one week
3) Read a book and wrote some stuff... sorted out some issues in the grey matter up there

I am determined to search for something good in every situation / experience

Here's my personality tests results :)


Enneagram Test:
Your surface personality is Type 1w2

Myers Briggs Test:
Your type is: ESFJ

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 13% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Big Five Test:

The Big Five Personality Test

Extroverted	||||||||||||	42%
Introverted	||||||||||||||	58%
Friendly	||||||||||||||||||	76%
Aggressive	||||||	24%
Orderly	||||||||||||||||||	78%
Disorderly	||||||	22%
Relaxed	||||||||||	32%
Emotional	||||||||||||||||	68%
Intellectual	||||||||||	36%
Practical	||||||||||||||||	64%

Take Free Big 5 Personality Test

Quite consistent :)

kuala lumpur is a really dusty place... i got more pimples popping out these few days when i'm hopping they will disappear after my event... aiyah!

i'm currently in K.L, enjoying a lazy morning at my friend's apartment near Sentral Station. Cup of coffee in front of me, Cartoon Network on the TV, laptop with broadband connection sitting on my lap as I sit on the comfy 2-seater sofa... this is life :) hey don't be jealous, i'm on leave and that's what people do when they are on leave.

in my "busy" schedule of eating and sleeping and shopping, a thought had been nagging me. Well, it was spurred by a friend's blog that she enjoy "Turn left, turn right". I watched the show too and i found it slow... and it's too fairy tale. I mean, how can things be sooooo coincidental???? And i would have thought that friend won't enjoy such a boring show. Anyway, the question i'm asking myself is "Have i given up hope that things can happen... and that there is a soulmate for you out there?" The belief that you will be with that special someone when the time is right. Maybe i have become so cynical that I no longer believe in that anymore. I remember i used to weep and cry my eyes out over movies like that... the "happily-ever-after" stories.

4 super-coincidental incidents happened in K.L. renewed that hope (talk about cosmic powers giving me a reminder!). 1) Friday nite: Found out that a diving pal, "uncle kenny" was at conference managed by my company last Monday... and i was there helping out!. We were at the same venue, same time but bcos i didnt bother to walk around the hotel ballroom, i didnt see him. And we found out we were at same space when we were travelling up to K.L. 2) Saturday nite: A new acquaintance's sister was my senior in JC. Cant remember how the conversation went but the strange feeling that "Arghhh, this can't be true that we can be connected in such a way!" - havent had that kind of feeling for a long long time. 3) Sunday nite: My roommate from Maldives trip emailed me out of the blue and we are now planning for a dive end of the year. I was feeling a little down on sunday and to get her email really really cheered me up. She is 10years my senior but she is one dynamic woman who inspires me. I recalled when i was first told that I'll be pairing up with "auntie" for the Maldives trip, before i met her, i was "worried" that i cant get along with her. Afterall, what do we have in common to talk about. But that trip was good... we stayed up at night to talk and everyone was surprised we "clicked" so quickly. In fact, i have been in touch with her more than some of the other guys who know her much longer. 4) Monday nite: Shopping at the fengshui store at Mid Valley Megamall, randomly flipped to a page in Lillian Too's "Discover Yourself" book and the title is "do you believe in coincidences?" It says something to the effect that if we should be consciously aware of the signs and the themes of the incidents that happened to us.

Okie, coincidences do happen... i guess it's also in line with my belief that "things happen for a reason".

Hi, i am back... missed me? :P
okie, that's lame but a gal has to do what she has to do to cheer herself up on a dreary Tue morning right?

My event last week went well... of course there were screw-ups to make it less than perfect (Murphy's Law) but I did the best i could so I'm ok about it. Yippee, my 1st event is over..it's over :)

I am now trying very hard to fight the -ve feeling after a particularly "bitchy" meeting that just ended. Basically, a draft agenda that i put together has been torn into bits and branded "messy" by a colleague who kept saying that she is technical trained and could have put together a better paper. Well, i didnt want to rebutt during the meeting cos it'll be unprofessional on my part to say so but i wanted to say "My boss thinks it's okie. Then u don't do your sales stuff and do this lor if you are so damn good!" I ended saying "I see what i can do within these 2 days before i go on my leave next week!"

Am i hypocritical or just getting more professional? Sigh, life is grey on many issues...

today i celebrate my last day as a "twenty seven"... from tomorrow, i am definitely in my late twenties... 2 more years of being in the "twenties" before i hit the BIG 3 *gulp*

Been really busy at work as my event is on next week. A bit scared cos this is my first event with the company and i am not very familiar with the venue. Colleagues are telling me that "Don't worry, your boss is there is help!" True, but i also want to be able to do this competently without any big mishap. Thank my guardian angels that this is a relatively small show so it's a good opportunity for me to learn the "operations" without being overwhelmed... Next year will be WOW! Will be handling 3 big shows at the same venue!

Tired... can't wait for my leave... any suggestion what to do in KL??

My leave is approved! :) As i was hopping around in joy, my colleague told me that our boss seldom "not approve" our leave application. Huh! But still glad to have something to look forward to end Sept.. been a long week and the next 2 will be even longer as we all have to work weekends and burn late nights as we tie up the loose ends before the events. That's event management for me!

Have been roller-coaster ride for me in my work. Just when i thought i am getting good at what I'm doing, something will crop up and remind me not to be complacent. Bad experience with suppliers yesterday and the brochures turned out HORRIBLE... the colour is totally off. And what made this worse that this particular event is the biggest show for the company and mgt is especially sticky abt the colours/image/branding. I panicked, felt terrible but thankfully for my boss. She's helping me sort this one out. I went home thinking what i cld have done better and i am determined to learn from this lesson: I was careful enough and i did my best in this task but have to communicate so clearly and simply that they just cant go wrong! Also, dun panic... my thought get jumbled up and i express myself clearly (and correctly) when i'm flustered when talking to bosses.

Like a dear friend's belief: There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. And I can handle this :)

While working till 9ish last night, my colleague passed me this article which is a timely reminder for me not to get "burnt-out" the next few weeks as I stay late for the upcoming events.

The choice is yours
"You can either sit around and moan about how unhappy you are in your job, or adopt a more positive attitude and turn things around so that you can enjoy your work. Here are five simple steps to keep you going.

1) Dream a little, plan a lot
2) Think of yourself as autonomous
3) Separate work and play
4) Strive for success outside of work
5) Provide yourself with alternatives

- The Straits Times, 22 April 2003

Great weekend... window-shopping for DVD player, roller-blading and walks... but the key activity was to do a mind-map for myself. Hmmm, i now understand what are my values and how they affect my decisions. At least i know my choices are not "random or irrational". These values are there in me all the time but it's a different feeling when u see them on paper... like it's more definite and solid!

Exercise is a key area for me and it's where i had been slack the past few months. Gaining back the kgs i lost last year definitely "drag me down". Instead of whining, i just have to work out. Okie, anyone game for a swim this Friday?? :)

Thank God for my friends...

been feeling "off and down" lately... just lotsa thoughts crossing my mind and i cant make any sense of it. I don't like that feeling... swinging from one extreme to another, something like super bad case of PMS.

thankful for friends to talk to, or just hang out with so that i don't keep thinking about it. Thank you for C who sensed that i was unhappy and took me out for a spin.

I had a great weekend at Dayang...well, minus the runny nose and slight cough i got...
For the first time, i went diving without my usual dive gang and it was kinda liberating. I've always felt that i'm not a very steady diver, relying on my dive instructors/DMs friends to watch out for me. Going for this trip on my own greatly increased my confidence in diving.

Been busy at work...events coming up so quite a fair bit of loose-ends to tie up. But I am happy... colleagues are supportive. Oh, one of the gals made Guilin Kao for me today bcos i have been sniffing and coughing the past few days. Erh, i didnt have the heart to tell her that i don't eat Guilin Kao cos it's made from turtle/tortoise shell... shall eat a little bit...but really really appreciate her thoughtfulness and concern :)

The universe has delivered a BIG BIG sign for me to think about what I want in my life. Someone up there is hinting to me big time that it's time to move my butt! On Monday, i went to my project director's wife's wake. From diagnosis to operation to her eventual passing on, it was only 2 weeks! Heard she never gain consciousness since the operation :'( Then last night, a dear friend spoke of doing things you want and not what u think people will want to see u do. This morning, TQ's blog is another big neon sign screaming "Wake up and do something! Life is precious... don't wait till you can't do anything anymore to regret not doing anything NOW!"

Qn: Do i have the courage to embark on the new challenges?

I just did a Sesame Street personality test... i am suppose to be like this character... and here's my results:

You are ZOË.You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments. A family person, your call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.

the problem is... who is ZOË? I dun remember he/she!!! Either i was deprived of Sesame Street when i was young or I am getting forgetful :( Aiyah, why i am always the special one? My friends are "elmos", "big birds"... the well-known characters and I'm ZOË?!?!

Just read my buddy's blog... she sounded kinda "down" :( Hey gal, cheer up... remember "always look on the bright side of life".

I think my buddy is not the only one feeling stagnant. I am too... I am getting complacent with work (hey, that doesn't mean i don't do my things...just doing but not excelling or learning new things). I am also less active with my volunteer work lately. Haven't been practicing my guitar as well. Was given the opportunity to learn daiko drums (my dream since 18) but decided to postpone learning, citing work as an excuse. What's with me????

Was offered a big challenge yesterday... to coach one of the boys who went Mt Kinabalu last year. It's really a good chance to be with the kids again. Honestly, i am excited! But with my state of mind now, can i be a good mentor? What if i am not able to be a good coach? The "margin of error" is very small here cos we are talking about a young boy's life, not just another project! Here i go... always thinking of the worst case scenarios, what can go wrong, why it wouldn't work etc etc. Maybe this is the kick in the butt i need to jumpstart myself again. I guess i will never know until i jump in right? Maybe that's how it is with all my relationships... worry so much that i kinda just decide not to try at all cos it just seemed impossible to work out.

Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Does title really matters? Does being an "executive" means i am less capable than a "manager"?

I have always felt that title is only but a title...and has never been bothered by it. Somehow, i was rudely reminded of the fact that the world put much value on this title thingy. I was told this morning by the "co-organiser" of an event i am currently organising that i am too junior to sign off that invitation to a keynote speaker. It should be signed by someone higher to emphasize to the invited guest that he is important enough to warrant the attention of my top management!!!??!!!

I have been organising conferences for a while and some of the people i sent invitations to include local and overseas CEOs. At the other event company, i was a "manager"...but all of us have "manager" titles, there were no executives. In current company, all of us are "executives", no "managers". And in both companies, i am doing similar tasks. In fact, i am a more experienced "executive" than "manager"!

Gosh... are we valuing all the "wrong" things?

Read this in the papers this morning: "many people equate their self-worth with work..."
hmmm, how true! I used to be like that. Now, tho' older and wiser, i still have to constantly remind myself not to fall into this mental trap. In this uncertain economy, it is good enough to just have a job? What if it's not something you enjoy? Should you quit? In the event you are retrenched (which is the buzzword of late), how will u take it? Sometimes it's sad how we hang on to our jobs cos it gives us an identity.. "Hi, I'm Min, I'm working at XXX company and what i do is...."

Just have to believe that u have the skills the companies want and if in the event u are given the golden handshake, trust that you will survive "outside".

Does mentioning a colleague's name in order to defend myself considered bitching? As usual, my email account was giving me problem so my Ops guy came over to help. We narrowed down the possibility of my weekly prob to the change of email addy from hui@ to min@... My Ops “scolded” me for creating problems bcos I wanted the change on my first day. I told me no, it wasn’t my idea…XXX (that’s when I mentioned name) said she told Ops to change to min@ so I merely followed up to make sure it is changed. That’s when he realized it’s not my fault. He jokingly said that he had a bad impression of me bcos he thought I am so “ya-ya” to request the change on my first day of work! He probably would have “tekan” me during my event!!! Thank goodness itz one big misunderstanding. Well, just hope that when the system vendor come down later, it can be solved once and for all…pleaseeee!!!!!

Anyway, I am trying very hard to be like TQ… to focus on what can be done to improve the situation rather than pointing fingers. Honestly, the Carnival was a little “overhyped” and “under-performed”. Was it bcos we set unreasonable expectations? Was it bcos we have assumed too much that people will do what they are supposed to do?

Oh, can you remember a dream you had when you were 18? At the Carnival, there was a group of boys performing the daiko drums. I had always been fascinated by these drums. Thought of taking it up since 18… did a little research a couple of years back but was discouraged to find that only students of Jap schools and associations had access to the drum classes. Finally, yesterday, I asked one of the boys and they learn it from a CC. Cool, will go find out more

To a special friend whom i met at the Carnival..who is having a break now... hey, read your blog... cheer up okie :)

After a good 8 hours of sleep, i am feeling much much better, more awake than i have been the past week. Bringing an overseas guest around and checking out the pubbing scene in Singapore was a tiring affair. Oh, saw a couple of interesting places like Orchard Towers. It was really an eye-opener seeing how the "working girls" are at work :) Then seeing the kind of men who hang out in these pubs...hmmmm....

Arghh... i have to go to the dentist this afternoon. And i hate dental visits! Cringe just thinking about the whole process later but no choice, my tooth filling came off and there is this big gaping hole! GROSS!

Two words keep popping up in my head this morning... potential and intention. I wonder what's the significance.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and there is a lesson to be learnt. However, i also realise that i spend too much time thinking about what i did wrong, wishing i did it differently etc etc and beating myself up over it, rather than on what i am suppose to learn from the incident.

Sometimes we fall badly and end up with deep cuts that take ages to heal. Sometimes we trip and twist our ankles. But time heals... both physical and mental injuries.

the power of now... and now is all i have :)

Have u ever had the experience when u really want to shop and spend money (aka retail therapy) but cannot find anything to buy? It was like that last evening. All ready to spend on a new bag but it was out of stock. Wanted to buy new clothes at Mango or Zara but nothing caught my eye. In the end, i bought a notebook at Taka... paper notebook :)

Oh, and the night dragged on... watched a really disappointing T3. Thank goodness i am not paying weekend movie prices for this show!

And my corporate email account is acting up again this morning!!! Told my colleagues it's my WCM (weekly computer symptons)... somehow i am the only staff to have this weekly irritation of not able to log into the email server unless my ops guy reset my account. They haven't been able to diagnose the problem :(

things are getting busy at work (i am not complaining about it ;o) and i have been spending some time thinking about personal stuff (on-going process, usually get distracted along the way and didn't reach any conclusion). Just hope that things will sort out and be very clear soon.

Isn't this cool?

hi all, like my new look?? :p Yep, i spent quite a many lunch-breaks customising my blog (probably a couple more to try to figure out how to change the colour for the date and time in the byline and where on earth do the blog item title appears???) It has 2 of my fave colours... and it's in line with my current belief of "less clutter for better fengshui" I like the clean and simple design.

i believe in "what goes around, comes around!"

Recently, a friend wrote about his fuzzy thoughts on his blog and i dunno why, just dropped him a brief email to encourage him. Guess what he replied?

"Yes, I agree with you that "things do happen for a reason". That's what makes living so fascinating! And I hope you will grow to see how much potential you have in you, and realise there is plenty more you can contribute to this world! :)"

today, feeling a little "lost" myself so i read his message again... and it encourages me... thanks dude!

Young at heart... 3 marvellous words :)
As i was showing off to my colleagues that my young cousin is the weather gal for Streats this month, he asked jokingly if i'll be next. Haha, i'm too old for that. But I am young at heart!

hmmm, what does that mean? To me, it means that age is not an issue, that age shouldn't be an excuse for me not to learn new things or try out new adventures. What else does it mean? Let's ponder...

Sieze the day!

aromatherapy candles...cream cheese sphagetti...2 bottles of wine...a tub of Dreyers choc ice cream...hmmmm, doesn't that sound romantic?? ;) well, it was a "romantic" dinner with 2 best friends last Sat.

While eating the yummy dinner (which i reckon was not really in line with my "lucy liu" goal), we had a wonderful conversation. That's the beauty of cosy small gatherings... when everyone can speak up and be listened to. To be connected with my room-mate and learn about her dream to do something big in India... to be encouraged by my exercise buddy and her desire to make a difference to kids as she embark on a new path in teaching.

Me, on the other hand, am glad to have them help me fold paper cranes while we sipped wine. Recently, I have this biazarre and romantic idea to fill a wine bottle with paper cranes and throw the bottle into the sea. These cranes represent all the unhappy memories I had and they shall forever be buried in the deep blue sea. These cranes also represent my best wishes to the people who made me sad. Last but not the least, these cranes are my prayers for my friends that their dreams will come true!

ever had the feeling u wish u havent done something?? i am feeling that right now... guess that's call "regretting your impulsive actions" :(

maybe THAT thing isn't so bad and i definitely didnt harm anyone... just don't like the feeling of wishing i have been more determined in not letting it happened...

Another first time... i had lunch at the "hot & touristy" newton circus earlier. i never have lunch there before... come to think of it, i havent been at newton circus food centre for the longest time. With my "fave" canteen closed for renovations for the next 4 mths, i guess i'll be popping over there pretty much. Somehow, the idea "food is expensive bcos it caters to tourists" keeps coming up. Only a third of stalls are opened for lunch and they are decently priced. Maybe the cut-throat ones only open at night???

Blogging after lunch... actually also a first... not very important piece of information except it means that i am dragging my feet on something else.

i am going to start another new journal!!!! This time, i am going to write down all the wines i try for the first time :)

i am always complaining that my life is "boring'... keeping this journal will help me learn more about wines as i make the effort to remember their names and vintage etc... and see where this leads me :P

"i wanna be a kick-ass 'angel' like lucy liu!" :) okie, i know that sounds absolutely bimbo-ish but i want to be toned and fit like her... especially the no tummy part. That means more exercise and less snacking for me. (HL: U offered to help me out on this :P)

I am recharged after 10-hrs sleep last night and am ready to face the new challenges this week! Happy Monday!

Even in the midst of my “not-happy” day, there are things that i can smile about… when i choose to see it…

Happy Diary (24 June 2003)
- caught up with a dear pal at her place after many many weeks
- learnt about network marketing and setup (tho’ i am not keen to do the biz)
- spoke to my dive buddy and found out he is happily attached now

And two entries to start today….

“Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
Worse things happen at sea, you know
Always look on the bright side of life...”

- a “song dedication” from my dear friend (thanks a mil… u know who u r :p)
- remembering what "carpe diem" means and how i want to embrace it in my life

Until last Saturday, my friends belong to different cliques that are associated with different "periods" of my life... pals from RGS, canoeists from NJC, hostel-mates from NTU, friends from uni, ex-colleagues, colleagues... each friend belong to a distinct group. After last weekend, it just struck me how everyone can be "connected" with one another, if we really want to trace the roots. Then why should I have different activities for different groups? Just get them out all together!!! I had a great time with the bizarre mix on Saturday. Oh, another first... it was also the first time my sis hung out with me and my friends :)

And i am very very happy that my dear friend gave me the "Write It Down, Make It Happen" book...

Yippee, after two extra value meals and two ice cream cones, I'm finally done with the "Finding Nemo" collectibles from McDonalds... no more fast food for me for a long time :) Well, i guess my friends are heaving sighs of relief too that they don't have to listen to me go on and on abt collecting the coin pouches.

This is the first time i have collected "cute cute" things that are totally impractical and which in my opinion, not cheap. At least these four colourful pouches brighten up my cubicle! I love the cartoon...diving will never be the same for me again :P

I am a big kid afterall....

It feels good to push myself beyond my own comfort zone... at least with regards to exercise :) I haven't have the aching feeling in the legs and arms for a long time, i think since JC times! Last night, after my run at MacRitchie Reservoir (the timing of which was much better than i expected), i walked two thirds of my way home. Of course having the company of a chirpy good friend made the walk more fun.

Actually, walking is quite therapeutic... can think about things (both serious and random thoughts), can use the time to call friends and catch up, or just space out...heehee, which i normally do. Good way to start training myself to really see things around me, not just "look without seeing".

It has been a strange week... Out of the blue, friends whom I haven't contact for a long long time started calling me... all at once. First was CK who went to New York to study, then Ryan who relocated to Kuala Lumpur, then FYP-mate (final year project) who I last contacted 5yrs ago.

I truly believe in the phrase "You reap what you sow!". I believe if you plant seeds of friendship and water it with sincerity, you get lasting blooms of friends... well, silly analogy but u get the idea :)

Hello to the world of weblogs....

A good friend asked me a thought-provoking question recently: "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"
When i realised that it has been ages since i have tried something out of the norm, I decide to do this.. create a weblog.

Haha, let's see what i can come up with...